Rosh HaShana – Life’s Broken Dreams
It’s Rosh HaShana and while it is a joyous day like all Jewish holidays, there is also an element of anxiousness. I am not referring to the recent worrisome events taking place in Israel, but that too.
Rosh HaShana is the birthday of Mankind. According to Jewish tradition, Adam and Eve were created on this day. As such, it is naturally related to the theme of the day, Yom HaDin – the Day of Judgment. God scrutinizes His creation on its anniversary to see how it is faring. Just what are people doing – right or wrong. And not just Jewish people but everyone since Adam and Eve, after all, gave birth to everyone, not just Jews
(Yes I know, we could use some Judgement Day for the Iranian leaders these days. Hopefully we shall witness that soon like we have been with Hezbollah’s leaders.)
And this is why we feel a bit uneasy during these 10 Days of Repentance that culminate on Yom Kippur. One should be looking at his or her life and considering how it is going. Which direction are you headed? Are you happy with what you have accomplished? What would you like to change and improve? What things have you repeatedly said you will change but still haven’t? What have you done wrong that needs to be fixed? What have you done right that can serve as an example for other areas of your life?
As we get older we come to the realization that not every goal that we had in our youth will be realized. Not every dream we had will come true. But we learn to live and accept it. We accept it not because of some loser justification of failure, but because this is a simple reality of life and even built into the very fabric of existence. Everyone has broken dreams.
And by that I mean that even God Himself suffers this same fate, so to speak. It would be hard to imagine saying such a thing were not the Torah itself telling us that this indeed was the case. It happened right before He destroyed the world in Noah’s time.
“And God saw that the evil of Man was very great in the land and that all the inclinations of his heart were only evil all day long. And God regretted that he made Man, and it pained His heart.” Yes, even God regrets. Even God has pain in His heart when it doesn’t go the way He wished and hoped it ought to. Even God sheds tears of disappointment and failure.
Yes, I know that God is all-knowing and is outside of time and space and is aware of the future. Not because He is Superman, but because past, present and future are all the same to Him. So yeah, He know that things will go south with His Creation. But who cares? Meaning that even though this is true in an absolute sense, God doesn’t expect us to relate to Him that way. Rather He shleps Himself down into our world and works with us on our terms. So from our vantage point, as the Torah makes clear, even God has regrets.
It might be hard to relate to the idea of God having regrets. In which case we can recall that Moshe too goes to his death with failed dreams. His constant request for entry into the Land of Israel was denied. So to live with failure is to be in good company.
This time of year in the Jewish calendar gives us the opportunity to look at our lives and reflect. To reflect on what was and think about where we wish to go. To accept some failures and to move on. Judgment never sounds like much fun but without moments of raw introspection we would be spinning our wheels and, before we know it, it will be too late to act. Rosh HaShana gives us a chance to revisit the very first question God asked of the very first human, Adam after he sinned. Ahyeh’kah, “Where are you?” Where are we indeed? And don’t get too busted up over the places you thought you would be and aren’t. Because neither God nor Moshe got there either.
But they will. And so shall we.
Sometimes a broken dream
Will make you sad or make you mean
Sometimes things ain’t as bad as they might seem
You will see the light of change
Come shining through your windowpane
When hope is gone…
Life’s broken dreams
-Gordon Lightfoot
