Blog Post


Whiners and Complainers

                          The Purple Sheet

          Shabbat Parshat Shlach – July 1st/2nd 2016 – כ’ו סיון תשע’ו



Whiners and Complainers


In this week’s Torah portion we have one of the greater lowlights of Jewish history. Faced with the imminent reality of entering into the Promised Land, the Jewish people – cowering with fear, trepidation and self-doubt – believed an extremely negative description and report about conquering the land from the spies that were sent ahead to scout it out. They wept and bemoaned their fate and began an outright rebellion against Moshe and his leadership.


Upon witnessing this, God declared that enough was enough and that He was done and fed up with this generation and their incessant complaints and kvetches. They would die out in the desert for the next 40 years until a newer, less jaded generation would replace them and go on to Israel.


Jewish tradition points out that this outcry was בכיה של חינם bechiah shel chinum – a complete and wholly unnecessary weeping and sniveling behavior that was totally unfounded. It was forever marked as Judaism’s blackest day on the calendar – the 9th of the Hebrew month of Av – and became a day many times over as the source for reasons to cry throughout Jewish history.


In essence, because the Jewish people cried for nothing, God gave them a real reason to weep. And herein lies a very meaningful lesson for us all.


Today we live in perhaps the greatest time ever in the history of mankind – certainly we who live in Western nations. We have food, wealth, ease and comfort beyond the imagination of our grandparents and even parents, let alone any generation before them. We do not have to worry about having enough food, nay we have so much that obesity is an issue. Our complaints consist of such hardships as our computer not running fast enough, our smartphone running out of battery too quickly or the carpool being a bit too demanding.


And yet, despite a lifestyle that surpasses even that of Kings and Queens of long ago, we constantly hear how “crazy my day is” or “how slammed I am at work” and “how insane things are in my life right now”. People love to express to others how hard they are working, how much is being demanded of them from work and family and how difficult it is for them to carry on the great burdens of their lives.


I recall once that my daughter’s friend was expressing how much pressure she was under with school and other matters, whereupon her father responded, “Auschwitz is pressure, this isn’t pressure.” Now while most might see his response as not the most understanding and tactful and a bit over the top – he does have a point.


We really need to get a perspective as to what is truly a difficulty in our lives. Are we complaining about real issues and hardships or are our complaints the expressions of those whose lives are really in the lap of luxury; the moanings of the comfortable and spoiled.


I remember once overhearing a fellow complaining of an elevator at Mount Sinai hospital taking too long to arrive as a nightmare. “A nightmare!” I thought. If this is what he considers a nightmare, then this person must be having a very, very good life, one filled with ease.


We need to be sensitive to our own bechiah shel chinum – the times when we cry and complain over absolutely nothing in the larger scheme of things. We need to note when we grumble and whine to get attention or to have others think that our lives are significant and/or worthy of sympathy.


The Almighty does not look too kindly upon those whom He showers with good but find a reason to complain anyway. It was one of the gravest sins committed by the Jewish people back then and continues to be so. “You want a reason to complain? Fine I will give you a reason to complain”.


It is pure mida kneged mida – measure for measure.  If you appreciate the good that God gives you and express as much in your words, thoughts and deeds, then He has many more gifts to offer you. But if you diss them through a crabby attitude, behavior and kvetching, then  not only will you not enjoy those gifts but He will provide you with some real issues to moan about. And you certainly don’t want to go there.


Complaining didn’t get the Jewish people anywhere thousands of years ago and its miserable track record continues – it gets you nowhere today either. Learn to drop the complaints and you will be amazed at how quickly you will enter the Promised Land.

Lay down your load

Cause every day it’s gonna grow

These days are sacred

Hey now, don’t be scared

Baby, don’t be scared at all

Of all the things that you don’t know
You’ve got time to realize you’re shielded by the hands of love


 Rabbi Tzvi Nightingale
Aish South Florida

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