Parshat Acharei Mot/Kedoshim: Love is All You Need
In one of this week’s parshas, Kedoshim, we have one of the most well-known verses in all of Torah. “You shall love your neighbour as yourself” has resonated in many lands and many religions for thousands of years.
When illustrating this mitzvah, the Talmud relates the story of a gentile who came to the sage, Shammai requesting a fast McConversion to Judaism. He asks that he should be taught the entire Torah while standing on one foot. Now it makes no difference how great of shape you might be in, or what amazing balance you might have, nobody can stand on one foot for that much time. We all know how vast and wide the Torah is. And so Shammai, having little patience for this ridiculous and somewhat disrespectful request, chased him out of the study hall in disgust.
Undaunted, the fellow then proceeded to visit Shammai’s colleague, Hillel with the same request. But Hillel didn’t throw him out. Instead he instructed him, “Whatever is hateful and distasteful to you, do not do to another. This is the entire Torah. Now go study for the rest is commentary.” This, Hillel taught, is the meaning of Love Your Neighbour as Yourself.
(Btw, The Golden Rule of Jesus and Christianity of “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is borrowed from Hillel and basically the same idea, except put in a positive versus a negative format.)
Hillel told this gentleman that all of Judaism depends on the ability to view another person as real as one views one self. Understanding God’s Torah cannot begin without the realization that the person next to me is just as authentic and valid as me. That another person travelling through life has the self-same experiences of love, pain, hurt, joy, disappointment, frustration and satisfaction from the ups and downs and curveballs in life that I experience so intensely and deeply.
As simple as this may sound, the fact of the matter is that it is a lifelong and difficult pursuit that demands much effort each and every day, many times during the day, in all of our interactions with another.
This rule of life finds its roots at the very beginning of Creation going all the way back to Adam and Eve. After God created Adam and declared that, “It is not good for Man to be alone”, the Torah describes how God made a helpmate for him. But before God put Adam into a deep sleep to create Eve from his side (or rib), He brought the animals to Adam for him to name. Only after this zoo-naming exercise did God finally provide Adam with his wife.
Why the interruption? Why have Adam name the entire animal kingdom before he met Eve? Why? Because a prerequisite to the very first relationship in history – which is the prototype for all future relationships – was the need for Adam to be able to practice and master the ability to relate to something outside of himself. He needed to realize that he was not the center of the universe, for if he thought he was, his relationship with his soon-to-be wife would be doomed. Adam needed training in relating to something – anything, even an animal – other than himself before he would be ready to begin a serious relationship with another.
And isn’t that true for all of us? We cannot begin to have a meaningful relationship with another if all we do is focus exclusively on ourselves. While this may seem obvious, too often people cannot adjust to their new reality of putting another on equal or even higher footing than themselves. It isn’t easy for a person to make the necessary and continuous effort to exercise heart and mind to look beyond oneself and see others as genuine with similar needs, fears, cares, goals and everyday concerns.
Looking closely at the vastly different and dramatic approach of Hillel versus Shammai to this non-Jewish fellow we can see the very lesson Hillel was imparting. While Shammai could not fathom dealing with such an absurd request, nor get into the head-space of this seemingly flippant bloke, Hillel had the sensitivity to recognize the questioner’s honest desire to understand the Torah. Hillel was able to step out of his own world-view and into the questioner’s shoes to get to the core of his query and of the man making it. In essence Hillel was the embodiment of the very idea he was imparting. He saw this fellow as a real human with a real desire for something more in his life. Hillel was able to look past the seemingly glib way the man presented his question and see what he really wanted.
Yes it is much easier to adopt Shammai’s approach and just write someone off and boot them out of our home and out of our lives. It takes a lot more work and effort to follow the path of Hillel; to try to climb into the soul of another and to be sensitive and receptive to their wants and needs.
All of the Torah’s instructions for living rest on the ability to treat someone else as seriously as you would want another to treat you. On this fundamental truth of “Whatever is hateful and distasteful to you, do not do to another.” To see another as a full human being created in God’s image just as you know with certainty that to be the case about yourself.
Once this becomes clear, the rest of the Torah can fall into place. Now go study for the rest is commentary.
Listening to you, I get the music
Gazing at you, I get the heat
Following you, I climb the mountain…
On you, I see the glory
From you, I get opinions
From you, I get the story
-The Who
